


I Don't Think You're Ready For This Jelly

by ionsquare



Series: Impromptu Domestic Sexual Karaoke [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Scenting, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 19:16:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionsquare/pseuds/ionsquare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blame it on the Beyoncé.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Think You're Ready For This Jelly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stripedteacups](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stripedteacups/gifts), [RRRobin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RRRobin/gifts).



> Complete and utter _crack_ , I mean, what is this even? And this is my first Sterek fic, too. GOOD JOB, ME. All the blame for this goes to stripedteacups and RRRobin after a hilarious conversation we had over Twitter, where this little fic was born.
> 
> I wrote it in 30 minutes at 2:30AM. Soooooo. Quick proofread by me; any mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
>  _Bootylicious_ is copyright property of Rob Fusari, Falonte Moore, and Beyoncé Knowles.

It isn't everyday Stiles walks in on Derek gyrating in the kitchen while Bootylicious is blasting on the stereo.

 _Seriously, Bootylicious?_ Stiles thinks to himself, smirking, leaning on the doorway watching Derek's hips swivel and undulate.

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly," Derek sings off-key.

"Maybe I am," Stiles interrupts. "Can I ask for my jelly to be flavored blueberry?"

Derek drops the spatula down beside him, spinning around meeting Stiles' eyes. "Blueberry?"

"Yeah because of the merry blue ball berries in my jeans right now."

Derek grins slowly, clicking his tongue. "Move, groove, prove you can hang with me."

"Oh, my god. How do you even know this song?" Stiles asks, calculating Derek's movements as Derek inches closer and closer to him.

"Laura," is all Derek answers with.

 _Fuck, of course_ , Stiles thinks. Somehow everything comes back to Laura. It's been two years since Stiles graduated from Beacon Hills High, and it's been two years since Stiles has gotten to know Derek, personally, a little more. Derek didn't open up much, at first, but that night when they got shitfaced and stuck each other’s tongues down their throats, well, things got a lot more personal.

"By the looks I got you shook up and scared of me," Derek sings, still, off-key.

"Definitely not," Stiles says with a chuckle. And Derek's standing in front of him now, licking his lips. Stiles is obviously distracted by Derek's mouth now.

"Lead my hips, slap my thighs," Derek sings, voice deep and warm.

Stiles bites his lower lip. "Put your cock in my mouth until I die."

Derek blinks. "That's not part of the song."

"No, that's my own added lyric."

Stiles tugs on the belt loops of Derek's pants, pulling him closer. "Can you make your booty touch the ground, Derek?"

"I'm pretty flexible," Derek smiles, salaciously.

" _Fuck_ ," Stiles whispers, thumbs pressing on Derek's hipbones.

Derek leans in for a kiss, nipping Stiles' upper lip, his tongue slipping past Stiles' parted lips, moaning at the back of his throat. Derek's got Stiles pushed up against the wall, and now his hands are working open Stiles' jeans, the zipper loud as he pulls it down.

Stiles pulls back with a gasp. "I'm about to break you off," Stiles sings this time, quirking an eyebrow at Derek.

Derek's fingers wrap around Stiles' cock, fisting him slowly so Stiles has no other choice but to thrust into his hand.

Stiles' head thunks against the wall, thrusting into Derek's hand, eyes rolling up because, _fuck_ , Derek's tugging his cock just right. He's going to come fast, and it's going to be a little bit embarrassing.

"Hook up your seatbelt, it's time for takeoff," Derek murmurs in Stiles' ear, teeth biting down on the lobe. He takes a brief moment to inhale; it's a thing. Scenting Stiles like this when he’s thrusting into his hand, when Stiles is baring his throat to Derek. And Derek, no other choice in the matter, rakes his blunt human teeth down the fragile skin. A part of him, deep down inside, imagines his wolf tearing the skin, but it's only for a moment.

"I don't think you can handle this," Stiles stutters out, one hand trying to find purchase on the wall, while the other grips Derek's forearm.

"I don't think you're ready for this," Derek answers, dragging the nail of his middle finger along the vein under Stiles' cock.

Stiles laughs breathlessly, panting, moaning. "Body too bootylicious," Stiles groans, doesn't give a fuck right now if that's an actual lyric or not.

Derek thumbs the slit, watching tiny beads of come leak out. "Spotted me a tender thing," Derek sings against Stiles' neck, licking away the salty lines of sweat. "There you are, come on--"

Stiles gives a small shout, wrapping an arm around Derek, burying his face in Derek's neck as he comes all over Derek's hand.

Derek's strokes slow down, gently stroking Stiles out through his orgasm, kissing Stiles' sweaty temple.

"I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have," Stiles lifts his head, eyes glazed over, smiling sleepily.

Derek smiles back. "Read my lips carefully if you like what you see."

"I think I love you."

Derek's quiet for a minute. "That's a whole 'nother song."

**Author's Note:**

> If you ever want to say hi to me, come find me over on Tumblr. I'm [ionsquare](http://ionsquare.tumblr.com/) over there too!
> 
> And yes, if you're wondering, I already have another fic in mind in the same vein as this one. We'll see what happens.


End file.
